Slick and the Snowplow

  The snowplow arrived to clear my driveway at exactly 4:22 AM this morning. Wanna know how I know the EXACT time?  Of course you do.........  Mr Slick had to make an announcement to the whole world that he was there to defend house and home against the perils of said snowplow.  Unfortunately, he also felt he needed to do that from the highest point in the bedroom that he could reach; which was on top of me!  So he leaped onto the bed in a single bound and landed 4 square on me with a YADDA YADDA YADDA BOW BOW WOW!!!! in order to sound the alarm. 

  Once my system got over the shock of that rude awakening.  I could hear the jungle drum of the sheltie natives pounding a beat down stairs headed up by the chief witchpuppy (otherwise known as Princess Nicki during the day) so it was obvious that this wasn't going to be one of those "roll over and go back to sleep incidents". Oh no!  We must sally forth and be assured that that snowplow realizes in no uncertain terms that there is a pack of dogs ready to take it on!

  Courtney rolls over and opens one eye.  "They're YOUR dogs, you take care of it" is clearly implied in her drowsy blink as she snuggles further into the covers and returns to dreams of liver being conveyor-belted to her in bite size morsels.  Okay, so I manage to get my slippies and robe on and stumble over a still-alert and excitable boy as we make our way down the stairs.  In that "OH NO Second" in which my foot hits the bottom tread and just before I hear the first BEEP, it dawns on me that I've tripped the motion sensor as I forgot to turn off the alarm.  So now, with a steady BEEP BEEP BEEP added to the cacophony of dog voices I make my way to the keypad in the laundry room. Yea!  I got it turned off before it went into panic mode which automatically means the sheriff’s department will be called and now I make my way to let dogs out of crates so they can smote any dragons that await outside!

  Out into the dark race Zach and Slick "ready to defend House and Home...or play with the new rope toy that they spy, whichever seems more practical, while Princess Nicki wisely decides to stand guard half in/half out of the sliding door to permit as much snow as possible to waft into the house while she checks out the lay of the land.... monster-wise, that is.  Am trying to get this obstinate creature to make a decision...in or out... when suddenly...THE PHONE RINGS.  Oh yikes. Now please bear in mind that everyone is still barking their fool heads off as the boys are now full tilt into a game of twice around the deck, leaping over Nicki on their way into the house, up over the ottoman then back over the top of Nicki for twice more around the deck.  The snow is still making its way into the inner reaches of the inner sanctum.  The snowplow blade is still clanging as it hits asphalt to restore my driveway to its normal pristine condition.

  On the third ring I finally find the phone that was knocked on the floor and under a pillow as a dog or two passed by and I hear on the end of the phone...."This is the security company, your alarm went off and we want to make sure everything is okay."  As I'm surveying the chaos in front of me, I'm considering what the dictionary definition of "Okay" really is and I say, "Yes, I know it went off...the snowplow is here," as though somehow that explains everything.  The voice on the phone, says again (with emphasis this time)  "We want to make sure everything is okay."  Now I know full well she can hear all the noise in the background so I try to calm her concerns by saying "The dogs are awake now, everything is fine."  She tries a new tack...but I'm suspecting her finger is one second away from pushing the Red button on the console to send help, any and all kinds of help!  "Okay, she says...Can you give me the password?"  I'm thinking to myself "Password?" It is 4:30 in the morning remember?  Evidently, I must have said it out loud because she prompts me "Yes, its the name of your first Dog"  "Oh yeah, that’s right" I respond. "That would be Della-B", I say in a rush.  "Excuse me," she says, "Can you give me that again?"  her finger inching ever closer to that red EMERGENCY button.  "Yes of course, that’s my first show dog Della-B,” I reply breathlessly as I'm now trying to get all the various dog parts back IN the house before the entire neighborhood becomes aware that the snowplow had the nerve to come to town.  “No, that’s not right,” she says.  It’s D-E-L-L-A.”  "Uh huh," I respond, “Yes, Della-B...Oh wait, the B stands for brat or Brat-dog depending on how naughty she's being..." my voice trails off and I can feel the headache starting to form somewhere at the back of my head... "Okay then," she says somewhat doubtfully, "You have a nice day," and hangs up.  Whew...

  Eventually, the snowplow departs and 3 frosty dogs stand gleefully laughing, at my feet waiting impatiently for their cookies.  In their little doggie minds, they had a great adventure and Slick now thinks that dragon slaying isn't such a big deal after all.  I opted to leave him downstairs to patrol the perimeter for whatever was left of the night and drifted back up the stairs to bed.  Courtney grudgingly gave up her place on my pillow.  My response, to her irritated yet inquiring look was "You wouldn't believe it if I told you..." at which point, she rolled back over and went back to sleep.